Wire to Wire
by andreakayy
Summary: Mulder and Scully have an argument about William... some hurtful things are said, people are hurt, but they're still in love. ANGST ANGST ANGST FEST... With a cute make up Based off "Wire to Wire" by Razorlight. MSR R


**DISCLAIMER: All rights to the X-files are owned by 20th Century Fox. Yeah, FML.... I know.**

**Summary: Mulder and Scully argument about William... some hurtful things are said, people are hurt, but they're still in love.  
Song: "Wire to Wire" --Razorlight. (Go listen while you read!)**

_What is love but the strangest of feelings?  
A sin you swallow for the rest of your life?  
You`ve been looking for someone to believe in  
To love you, until your eyes run dry_

As soon she finished her young patient, Melanie's, final surgery, she headed home, seeking comfort from Mulder. Young patients, like the four year old girl she had just operated on, always managed to pull at the strings of her heart. It was a feeling she could never get used to, but she could accept it. She blamed herself for her son, even though Mulder had told her countless of times not to. It didn't matter. She made up her mind, and her mind was set on the fact that it was her fault he was gone. In order not to fail, to keep him safe at all costs, she gave him up anonymously.

She parked her car in front of their small unremarkable house, and stepped out into the cool July evening air. It was just nearing complete darkness outside, nine twenty-five. She walked slowly up the creaking wooden steps to her front door.

She didn't see Mulder in sight, so she figured he was already upstairs in bed. She told him she would be late, possibly coming home at midnight, but Melanie's surgery got rescheduled, allowing her to come home earlier.

'Typical,' she thought, and held in a laugh that eventually made its way out, sounding somewhat like a deep hiccup. She was referring to Mulder's knack for leaving all of the lights on.

Two of the lights in the living room were turned on as bright as they could go, and right next to the living room she saw a faint glow coming from Mulder's office. Perhaps, he was in there, rather than upstairs. Ignoring the two lights in the unoccupied living room, she made her way to Mulder's office. Empty. She shook her head.

The glow was coming from the desk lamp that hovered over his desk like one of the flying saucers from their past life. It was every day reminders like that –that made her remember when she fell in love with him. She smiled.

'Oh,' She thought, seeing two manila folders, thick with papers, on his messy desk. She wondered what he was working on. Maybe he was dealing with the back garage, seeing if the insurance would cover the damage from the oak tree that fell into it during the thunderstorm last month.

Scully approached the papers, not knowing really what she was looking at. After biting down on one of Mulder's sunflower seeds, she went to the first paper on the stack. Her heart stopped when she saw a paper that was burned into her memory. When it came to this paper, it was almost like she had Mulder's eidetic memory. The green heading read: Bethany Christian Services. –And under it... in navy blue, it read: Adoption Services.

There was all the paper work right there, the paper work she hoped never to see again because it would hurt too much –the paper work she filled out seven years ago. She had to remind herself to breathe. Her intake of breath hurt like knives –no, those were the knives on her heart, not lungs. She was choking up, tears spilling from her eyes. She slammed both folders shut, not needing to see any more. Scrawled across the front at the bottom right corner was, 'A.D. Walter Skinner.'

Tears coming from her eyes at a speed over one hundred miles per hour, she hurried upstairs with both folders in her arms. When she saw Mulder wasn't in the bedroom, she checked the other bedroom, full of boxes –only to be left disappointed. She slowly walked downstairs, while thinking where he could be. Scully walked back into the kitchen, only to find that the back door was left open. She roughly pushed the screen door to let herself pass, and she turned, seeing Mulder sitting on the porch swing.

"Hey I didn't think you –" He stopped mid sentence, noticing Scully's red tearful eyes. He looked down to the folders in her arms. They were in her arms, but the next thing her knew –she had thrown them at him.

"Mulder! What the hell were you thinking?!"

"Scully, just –" He stood.

"What? Scully, just what? Calm down? Mulder, Skinner had those for a reason. We weren't ever –ever supposed to touch them unless something was wrong. As far as I know nothing is wrong, but if there is, you better damn well tell me!"

"Nothing's wrong, but –"

"But what? If nothing's wrong why do you have those?"

"I wanted to see my son!" Mulder yelled, trying to raise his voice over Scully's. He was pretty sure the neighbors –who were two miles away, could hear her –and now him.

"Are you really that inconsiderate, Mulder? Do you know how this is affecting me right now –to see those papers after all this time –after I... I so painfully filled them out?"

"Scully –"

"No, Mulder. Nothing you can say will ever make this righ –"

"I still have a right to see him! He's my son. You didn't ask for my consent! My name is nowhere on those! Essentially, William is still mine." He was close to tears now. They haven't mentioned their lost son in so long. "You gave him up! I didn't!" She turned quickly, leaving him and the mess of papers on their old porch. Mulder realized where he had wronged and reached out for her, followed her. He grabbed onto her arm.

"Mulder," She said firmly with her broken voice through her tears. "Just –I think you should go... for now."

"Scully..."

"Mulder," She looked into his tearful eyes and then pulled hers away. She placed her hand on his chest and pushed herself away, "Just –go. Please" She begged him.

_She lives on disillusion road  
We go where the wild blood flows  
On our bodies we share the same scar  
Love me, wherever you are_

Three Days. He was gone for three days so far, when she finally let her mind rake over the events three nights ago. She lay in their lonely shared bed, the right side –his side, cold and lonely. Her bitter, angry tears stung her eyes as they fell.

William was hers and Mulder's alike. They were his biological parents –but she gave up her privileges when she signed all those papers years ago. His still existed. Essentially, they shared the same scar, on their hearts, yet different burdens. Every day she would carry the thought that by giving up her son she had actually given up on him. Mulder never knew his son –only for one day did he know him. He didn't get to say goodbye; she did. It would be cruel of her not to remember that –that Mulder too felt an empty void every day. No, she knew that –she blamed herself for that too. The empty void was yet another thing they shared. They shared a partnership, a bond, a house, love, a child, a loss, emptiness –and pain. They needed to share in the pain they felt. She needed him. She needed to feel him. She hoped he needed her too.

_How do you love with fate full of rust?  
How do you turn what the savage take?  
You`ve been looking for someone you can trust  
Who will love you, again and again_

So, she got out of bed. She was a wreck.

She knew that he knew that she loved him. That was the thing about their relationship –after the most savage of fights they had –though none to date had been quite like this one –they had a common understanding that no matter what they would be there for each other. Their love, their bond –it was ever lasting. They were joined forever –no matter the distance, no matter where he was... but right now, they needed to be together. They needed to share in the agony –to know they weren't alone.

_How do you love in a house without feelings?  
How do you turn what that savage take?  
I`ve been looking for someone to believe in  
Love me, again and again_

She got in the driver seat and put the keys in the ignition.

She hesitated before knocking on his door. So she closed her eyes and raised her hand to knock, but she unexpectantly heard the door open.

"Scully?" Mulder whispered in disbelief. She opened her eyes, looking down to see him holding his keys. "I was just going to see you." She looked up into his eyes and smiled. Her tears burned her eyes again, but this time out of love rather than anger. She needed him. She loved him.

The corners of his lips turned up, and he brought her into his arms, and shut the door behind them.

"I'm sorry, Mulder." She said, her voice muffled by being buried into his grey t-shirt.

"You had every right to be angry."

"I don't want to talk about this, Mulder. Not right now."

_She lives by disillusions close  
We go where the wild blood flows  
On our bodies, we share the same scar_

He understood what meaning was buried underneath her words. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to talk about anything. She didn't want to talk. She wanted him –all of him. She wanted to feel him against her. She wanted to know that she wasn't alone. He wanted the same things.

His lips brushed hers softly, leaving her to want more, but he pulled away. He repeated the action once more before kissing her softly. His hands went behind her thighs, and he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, and he carried her to the bed, getting on top of it, and laying her down gently, their lips still locked.

"Scully –"

"Yes, Mulder... I'm sure." She answered his question before he even spoke it. Her hands ran through his hair as his kisses went along her jaw, and then to that one spot that Mulder knows makes her go crazy, right on her neck. And she got working at his clothes...

_How do you love on a night without feelings?  
She says "love, i hear sound, i see fury"  
She says "love`s not a hostile condition"  
Love me, wherever you are_

About four hours later, they lay spooning in bed, under the cheap floral comforter. His arm was around her, and her hand was holding his right by her mouth, but they weren't sleeping. Scully couldn't help thinking about all the decisions she made in life, especially the most important ones, and Mulder couldn't sleep simply because he knew she was awake.

"Scully," Mulder whispered through the darkness.

"Hmm?"

"Will you talk to me now?" Silence. Maybe he had said the wrong thing.

"Mulder, do you..." She trailed off, trying to gain her words. "Do you think that by... giving William up that I... uhm... gave up on him?" Her voice was hoarse. She had been crying.

"No," He said rather quickly. "I think... no. Because if you still think about him, care about him, and love him, like I know you do... then you haven't given up." She kissed his hand and turned to face him. Her hand wrapped around his neck, pulling his head down so she could press a long loving kiss to his forehead. "And if we see him in the future –then we will."

_Love me, wherever you are  
Love me, wherever you are  
Wherever you are  
_

**I love that song, by Razorlight. Hell, I love Razorlight!  
Anywho, my friend, PiperMaruDuchovny... she had surgery and (that lucky bitch is getting high on vicodin) isn't feeling too great. So... I hope this made her feel better.  
And guess who may be going to Louisiana to meet her BFF, Britt (Teliko.x3) Oh! Me!!! :D  
Please Review!! :D  
-AK.**


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